Can I chill?...

What state of mind should I live in while I’m home, for break? Why can’t I come home for one break and not “fall out” with everybody in my family? If it’s not one thing it’s another. Ironically, I’m the “good one”. The only one off to school, get decent grades, have a job, have dreams, and I’m working towards them. I’ve come to understand it’s either my people expect a lot out of me, I don’t know when to just be quiet, or am I just too damn disobedient for my own good.

And why must I be so obedient anyway? Don’t get me wrong I think discipline is something everyone should know and understand, for their own sake. But at the same time why spend so much time teaching our children to be so obedient to every curve of the voluptuous, world that we live in? Why not spend a little more time investing and insuring the knowledge that will make the world obedient to our children. When will we decide to break the cycle?
I don’t understand why people expect for you to allow them to talk to you in any kind of way, with no response. Sorry. I am the miraculous phenomenon breaking the cycle of “Yes’am” and “Yes’suh”. I refuse to not be respected by anyone. Reasons being, I show everyone I encounter the same respect I desire and deserve. In these “falling outs” I am usually not in the wrong, with a seemingly hidden esoteric knowledge of my point, that no one seems to understand. However, they are starting to happen so often, I am questioning myself. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m not living up to the life, that which is expected of me. In return, I’m rewarded all the bitter frustrations of their world. Not saying I’m not ever wrong, because I am sometimes. Here goes a list…

• Me and my cousin bent my grandmother’s screen on her window. (replaced it)
• I took like 6 beers out of a cooler from my grandmother’s birthday party(when it was over)
• Christmas money, let my people stay under the impression I was doing something a little more positive than tattooing my fingers.lol.
• Turned my phone off to avoid contact with everybody for a day.
• Lied about not having room in the car on the days I didn’t want to go the gym, . packed like Mexicans in a Ford Focus. he he he…
  
  
  Notice most of my fuck ups end in “ lol”. Nothing too serious give me a break!